Source: seerofsarcasm
At the end of nearly every Disney movie there is a kiss between a man and a woman. That is a introduction to heterosexuality. In almost every kids show (once you get past the preschool age where it’s nothing but counting and colors) there is a romantic relationship either…
Source: look-something-shinyNathan Lane: Kill the actors!
Will Farrell: Kill the actors?!
Cheyenne: No, don’t kill the actors! Well. You can kill Barrowman if you want, he’ll be fine—
Emily: … Not that program, Cheyenne.
Hot desert wind blows across the vast expands of the inland wastes. The wind carries with it the whispers of a world gone by. Old world. The world of the superpowers that gambled the world for momentary gain. They lost. They lost the world and most of the people in it in nuclear thunder. Gone now. All that’s left are whispers in the wind. But amongst the whispers of the old world was a loud roar. The roar of an engine, and the vehicle it belonged to was a heavily fortified, but ultimately rusty SUV. A light bulldozer shovel was soldered to the grill, with the points on the end, meant to till the earth of old world, were filed to spikes meant to till the flesh of the people of new world. Its windows were all boarded up with scrap metal or wood, except for the front windshield, which was covered with a sewer grate. Atop the car was mounted a rifle, which was on a swivel, with a string around the trigger which ran down into the cab. The driver was speeding the car down the neglected highway. It made a lot of noise, and the driver knew that he had to move fast.
Four boys, of youthful adulthood, clad in brown and tan and dust, lay hidden in the dip that lies in the Median of the highway, behind the concrete barrier who’s origional intent was to protect the cars from crossing into the opposite side of the freeway.
The youth were scroungy, dusty, and unkempt. True wastelanders. Raiders. One boy was watching out down the road, looking forward to the arrival of the car. The other three were staying out of sight.
“They Allways forget the tires.”
The SUV came barreling down the road, past the hidden boys. There was a loud pop. Like an explosion without the flames. The car careened to the side, into a concrete barrier away from the boys. The remains of the blown tire, and the spike strip it ran over, lay all over the road.
“Yeah! We got it boys! Ash, Irvine, Zeke, get the canisters and the pump. I’ll get the rope! Lets go!”
The four boys ran toward the car, the desert road shimmering underneath them.
When they got to the car, the leader boy, smashed the window and the plank of wood on the drivers side door with the end of his slipshod rifle and reached in to unlock it. A risk, he was sure, but one he had to take. He pulled the driver out of the car. He was delerious, and woozy. The leader boy quickly wrenched the drivers arms behind him, and tied him up.
“Will!” Shouted Irvine
“What!” Shouted back the leader boy.
“Dude, we hit the motherload!” Irvine shouted.
“What? Out ot the way, let me see.” Said Zeke.
Zeke pushed Irvine out of the way, and dusted off the unprotected back windshield and peered in.
“Irvine is right. There is a lot of shit back here.”
We’ll worry about that later. Get the tank punctured and fill up the cans.” Said will.
The three boys puncture the rusty gas tank with a knife and put a bucket under the car, watching the gasoline drain out.
Will stayed back with the driver, slapping him till he came too.
“Hey. Who are you?” Asked Will.
The driver looked up with hazy eyes.
“None of your business.” Said the driver.
“I think you should be more willing to answer my questions, considering your position.”
The driver sighed.
“I’m a runner. I run deliveries from place to place for cash.” Said the driver.
“So you know your way around here? Well. Guess what.” Said will.
“…what?” Asked the driver.
Meanwhile the boys had filled the buckets with gasoline and were busy tearing apart the trunk of the SUV. Zeke stood by the truck, watching as Irvine and and Ashur were doing the work.
“Ash. How much more is in there?”
There were boxes upon boxes being tossed out of the car by Ashur.
“Stop it Ashur, be gentle, dammit. You could break some shit. Important shit.”
“Sorry Zeke.”
“Good. Just set them down gently. Now what is in them.”
“Plenty. More gas, ammunition, clothes! And a bunch of,paper with scribbles on it.”
“Set the paper aside. We’ll burn it if we have time. Ashur, go get the dragsled.”
“Why cant we just drive it all back?”
“Do you know anything aboit cars, idiot? This shit is a wreck. Go get the sled.”
“Ok Zeke.”
Ashur departed for the sled and started walking.
“Run! The Trogs could come at any minute!”
Ashur started running and Irvine came up to him
“Hey, why are you Allways so hard on him?” Asked Zeke.
“Because he’s the weak link. I’m doing him a favor. You think he could survive out here without us?”
“Maybe not, but you don’t have to be such an asshole.”
Will walked up to the group, a piece of paper in his hand.
“Hey, guess what I got us!” Exclaimed Will.
“More scribbles? We allready got pleanty of those.”
“Nah. He started to make those scribbles but I butted him on the head till he started writing sense. I got us a map. Its all the towns in the nearby area.”
Ashur came back with the dragsled.
“Here you go, Zeke.”
“Good. Start loading the catch onto it.”
Zeke walked around to the other end of the car.
“Here, I’ll help you Ash.” Said Irvine.
The three of them loaded the boxes and crates onto the dragsled.
“Dammit, where the hell did Zeke go?” Said will and went around the other end of the car.”
Zeke had a pistol pointed at the back of the drivers head, his finger on the trigger, about to squeeze.
“Zeke what the hell are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m getting rid of a problem.”
“Zeke just leave him be for now. Don’t waste ammo. You might bring trogs, and not the smart bargainable kind either.”
Zeke took the pistol away from the flinching man, and sighed.
“Fine, take away my fun.”
“This isn’t about fun, Zeke.”
The sun was setting.
“Will.” Said Irvine, “We are all ready to go.”
A loud howl is heard in the distance. A shrieking howl, not like a coyote or desert dog.
“Good. Hurry. The Trogs are out there. Irvine, Ashur, come with me. Zeke, blindfold him and then catch up with us.” Said Will.
“…Fine.”
The three of them start dragging the dragsled, and head up the hill, Ashur pushing from behind and making sure that nothing falls off.
A gunshot rings out and Will whips around to look for Zeke. The driver lay dead on the ground by his car and Zeke came running up the hill.
“What the fuck did you do that for, asshole! I told you to leave him be.”
“Don’t call me an asshole, he got loose and resisted.”
“…Sure. Just come help us pull this home.”
